Sorry, I’m still stuck on that Gordon Ramsay as the Potions Master post.
"We’re going to use fresh, vibrant dragon toenails, locally grown and sustainable."
"You don’t add eye of newt to a room temperature cauldron, you ignorant shit."
"It’s fucking raw!"
This would go great with Bobby Singer, Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.
"Here, let me look it up in my How to Sweet-Talk Ukrainian Dragons manual. Oh, wait. No one ever wrote one."
do not fall in love with people like me.
i will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. i will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. and when i leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.
I couldn’t care less about your religion or sexual orientation or race or whether you’re a virgin or have slept with 400 people or have done time in jail
but the moment you eat my leftovers without asking that’s when i decide you’re a terrible person
im trying to be more positive *sheds electrons and becomes highly unstable*